Baby's First Album Review

Translation by Dad

Today my dad had me listen to Shriekback's Oil and Gold album while getting ready for the day. While listening to this album, I was prompted to voice my opinions on several occassions, in reference to every track.

Malaria
A decent song to get started, it made me decide to begin the day with a smile. Still, perhaps a bit weak. The end of the song found me frowning.

Everything that Rises Must Converge
Much to my dad's horror, this song made me scream like all the baby formula in the world had just fallen into a deep chasm. It did not make me happy.

Fish Below the Ice
Better, as I had stopped screaming by the end of the song.

The Big Hush
An excellent way to start breakfast. This song seemed to have a calming effect on me.

Faded Flowers
I was uneasy about this song at first. perhaps because it marked two slow songs in a row. By the end of it, I had decided that it was much better than the previous song.

Nemesis
Masterful! This song made me forget about breakfast and not want to eat for a few minutes. All I wanted to do was dance in dad's arms.

Only Thing that Shines
Not a bad followup, it made me remember that there was still more breakfast to be had. I polished off another ounce of formula during this song, leaving me full.

Health and Knowledge and Wealth and Power
I don't know why dad insisted on burping me during this song. It was just as he described, a handbook for the 80's goth. Upon releasing a considerable belch, I resumed my smiling duties for the morning.

Hammerheads
I don't know what it is about this song, the strange beat or the quirky lyrics, but I just wanted to dance like there was no tomorrow. Another smiler.

Coelocanth
Wow. What a way to end an album! This song was soothing and relaxing, and my dad wondered through much of the song whether I was going to fall asleep.

All in all, a good album. When it was finshed, I still felt like dancing. It put a smile on my face for quite some time afterwards, long enough for my dad to type my review and probably quite a bit more. I look forward to hearing more from this band in the future.

She's Just The Girl You Want

I found out I was expecting last May. I can't remember why I was at the mall, but I found myself wandering into The Childrens Place. I had never been in there before, but I thought I better get use to it. There was a display of clothes right there in the front as I walked in. I don't remember what was on it, other then the most perfect pair of Sunglasses. They were so tiny! The Cateye, Animal print Sunglasses were perfect for a little girl. I was so PROUD of my purchase, but was sad when Joseph said, "What if the baby is a boy?". The evening after our Ultrasound, I reminded Joseph of my Cateyes that I bought for the baby, and told him that it was a good thing I purchased them. I love my Cateye glasses, and to find something like that for the baby was a MIRICLE ( I thought it was more of a for sure sign that this baby was MENT to be a girl) . It was cute that we could wear matching cateyes. I love, love, love plaids. My wedding colors were plaid. My favorite shoes are Plaid. My favorite cloths were plaid. Joseph knows my love for my plaids. It came from my love of plaid skirts. I thought that finding something of that sort for the baby was going to be hard. Joseph had been surfing and found a handful of sites of baby plaid skirts. I had forgotten about them, until yesterday when Joseph opened one of his several packages that came to the house. He proudly presented the gift. it was a red plaid skirt!!!! I was so excited, we quickly put it on. She was SO beautiful in plaid. She really is her mommy's girl!

Babies Can't Be Troubleshot

...at least not in terms of traditional troubleshooting. What calms Elise down one day can utterly infuriate her the next. As she grows, she starts to leave behind things like accepting being bundled in her blanket, just like she was in the womb. But if she's in the right mood, it seems to offer her some comfort when we put her in her bed to sleep, when she doesn't want to.

Back in the day, when her bellybutton hadn't quite sealed up yet, we had to give her sponge baths. This was a cause for concern, at least for her, and an excuse to excercise her tiny lungs and scream bloody murder. When it was time to wash her back, I had to lean her against my chest as I washed her. This would generally calm her down enough to stop crying instantly, as if she thought the ordeal was finally over. When the warm washcloth touched her skin, and then moved away allowing the convection of any cold air in the room to chill her again, it was back to lung aerobics.

Fortunately for Elise, her naval has finally sealed, and she has graduated to sitting waist-deep in warm water. She is generally okay with this, at least until she is picked up and moved to a towel for the drying process. Those few seconds of cold hitting her warm body cause her to resume her vocal performances until she realizes that there is a towel wrapped around her, and the towel really is warmer than she apparently expected. Last night, the majority of complaints came from her dad, who was experiencing for the second time the joys that come from trying to hold a squirming baby in one hand, cleaning her with the other, and all the while trying not to let her fall into the water and drown or fall out of the water and break her head. It's much easier when a second parent is present to hold the baby while the first one washes her.

While there was a moment of obvious discomfort for her upon leaving the warm water, it was quickly calmed with the application of a towel, and Elise decided to forego her nightly ritual of communicating at the highest possible volume. Dressing her, as with bathing her, prompted more complaints from parent than from child, as she happily resisted extending her arms enough for me to pull them through the sleeves of her onesie.

Feeding her presented no challenges, nor did burping her. But having discovered something recently, I wanted to experiment. When she was loudly resisting sleep the other night, I found that holding her against my chest (either with the front of her against my chest, or with her whole body facing sideways) and patting her back as if burping her softly, calmed her down enough that I could fold up her legs into the fetal position, and lay her in her cradle, where she would finish falling asleep. The difference this time was that I had her just over my shoulder. She remained calm, but fidgety. This wasn't going to help her sleep anytime soon. I moved her down, with her head against my chest, and continued exactly the same motions. The squirming ceased immediately, and she was out like a lamp within five minutes, even allowing me to fold in her legs before she zonked complete.

While I have had some small success with this strategy, I suspect it will fail to endure. Still, it worked well enough last night, and she managed to stay asleep until her mom got home and went to bed. That was when she decided it would be a fine night to wake up hourly, and keep her mom from getting any real rest. Thankfully for me, her mom decided against waking me up until at least the 5am session.

Baby Love

Baby love. It describes many things. A baby crying until she is picked up. That same baby turning her head towards daddy when he cradles her, as if expecting that he can feed her the same way mommy does. It might explain the baby's reluctance to turn her head away even when it's obvious that what she's trying to suckle on is covered by one of daddy's favorite shirts. And it's such a powerful force that it keeps daddy from getting more than mildly irritated when she finally turns away in search of her bottle, leaving a slobbery mess in her wake on what is also one of daddy's more difficult to clean shirts.